Goodbye to Someone in an Urn: Near the end of a graveside service with a casket, I usually touch the casket as I say my goodbye, and often others follow this meaningful gesture. With an urn, it can be a bit harder. This is how I have adapted this goodbye. It works when there is a small group at the graveside or family only. Just before the urn is to be placed in the ground or niche, explaining what is about to happen to those present… I pick up the urn and walk to each person giving them time to touch or hold the urn as they say their goodbye. Those closest to the deceased I try to say their goodbyes near the last. It gives people a final chance to create meaning.