” Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainly that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out” Victor Havel in Disturbing the Peace.
Hope shifts but it is always present. No matter how dire things are in your life, how painful, or how hopeless it may seem… there is always hope!

Each of us experience grief differently and uniquely, even within the same family. Here are just some of the experiences you may feel when you grieve. It is important to understand the various experiences of grief. These words give the picture of grief, but it may be misleading. Everyone does not necessarily go through every experience, nor do they go through them in any set order. Each person has his or her own timetable and his or her own style of grief. You may struggle with several feelings at the same time. The depth and duration of each experience is different for everyone. You may experience a feeling briefly, intermittently or struggle with it daily. Understanding the various phases helps you to cope. Knowing that others have gone through this pain and have eventually been able to reinvest themselves in life gives one a sense of HOPE.

One of the things that make it hard for us to express our condolences is that awkward feeling of ‘what to say’ and ‘what not to say’. It doesn’t matter if it is the spouse of our dearest friend, or a co-worker’s friend… how do we let them know we care in a way that is helpful and not hurtful. My first suggestion is to just keep it simple. “I am sorry for your loss” or “I am so sorry” . If you are close to that person you may follow it up with “There are simply no words” or “I can’t imagine what you are going through” or “Is there something practical I can do to help”. Perhaps many of you are now looking back and feeling bad because the past few times you have offered your condolences, you may have used a less than helpful response…. Don’t worry about that, the past is past.. now you have more helpful responses in your mind, and you can use them in the future.

Grief and loss are stressful — physically, emotionally and spiritually. Remember to take care of yourself. Here are some ways to transform your loss into healing and growth:

Visiting loved ones with Alzheimer and other related memory diseases can leave one feeling ‘dis-ease’ ourselves.
Take them for a car ride, the earlier in the day the better, not only for “sun-downing”, but to beat the heat. Even 30 minutes in a familiar neighbourhood, going past their church, school or to check out the crops and flower gardens will bring joy not only to your loved one, but special memories to you to cherish

- bring in or go out for an ice-cream cone or sundae, nothing stirs the memories like ice-cream on a summer day